Learning about yourself through your own words

A friend of mine once suggested that I should take up journaling. At least once a week, he would sit and just write down how he was feeling. He said it’s a great way to learn about ourselves. I told him that I did something similar. I write lyrics and poetry.

While my lyrics are constructed to tell a story and be rhythmically in sync to my music, my poetry is not. It is often just something that pours out. I have written well over a hundred of them and even today, I learn new things about myself through the words I wrote decades ago. I suppose it’s much the same as when we need to chat with someone close about something that’s bothering us or a challenge we are facing. Often, we find solutions just listening to ourselves talk.

Most of us at some point will say something to a friend and then immediately think; I can’t believe I just said that. How long have I been carrying that around with me? Bottling things up is not a great strategy. Letting them out is good for our spirits and very instructive if we will only pay attention.

You can even learn about yourself by reading some of your old e-mails. Where was your attitude at? How were you feeling? Why did you feel that way? If you will take the time to answer those questions, you will grow.

The following is more an introspection than a poem. I wrote it in 2000 while in the midst of making some major life changing decisions. I was soul seeking and I was stuck in a rut. This piece taught me a lot about myself and I am still learning from it.

I offer it to you as an example of writing freely about your inner dialog. I hope you enjoy it but more than that, I hope that in some way it helps you in your quest to know yourself at a deeper level through the exploration of your deepest thoughts.

Life Goes On
© Gil Namur, 2000

Quiet … peace … nothing …
Silent blissful solace
Then an event of unprecedented proportion
A spark … a flash …energy
Absolute chaos
Endless expansion … endless space
Time … millennia … countless eons
Breath … life … consciousness
Me
I am … I think … I feel
I wonder about it all
I am the universe come to consider itself
To ask the question
Who am I? Is this all that I am? Is this all that there is?
I look for order and find none
Small wonder, we were born of chaos,
But once I looked hard enough, I found great beauty in the chaos
Why is knowing that not enough?
Why do I bleed inside?
When does it end?
So much to say, so many questions
So much to give, so many who need
Would that I could give more
For the greatest I can receive is in the giving,
But does knowing that mean that the act of giving is now a selfish act?

Oh boy … I better clear the mechanism!

Quiet … peace … nothing …
Silent blissful solace
Then a predictable event
The phone rings ….

Life goes on.

 

 

P.S. If you enjoyed this, you might also enjoy some of my poetry at www.gilnamur.com

© Gil Namur, 2009