It is a pleasure to introduce Catherine Novak to you as a guest author at synaptici.com. A short bio and Catherine’s contact information follows her first insightful article.
Imagine that some wish-granting genie has stepped out of your dreams and into your living room, where you’ve been reading about famous and accomplished people while the TV bleats on in the background.
“I’ve come to grant you a wish,” the genie says. “You can go back to any previous point in your life and start again from there. It’s like a ‘system restore’ for your life story. Just tell me how far back to rewind and when to press ‘play'”.
Would you do it? How far back would you go? What would you like to “do over”?
A programme on CBC Radio One asked that question last week, and it really got me thinking. It could be quite an opportunity to go back and get some things right. I mean, here I am in the middle of my life, still working very hard just to make ends meet. I’ve come out of more years than I would like of broken relationships, financial struggle and career drift. Surely I’m a good candidate for a do-over.
Except that as I went backwards through my life, year by year, I couldn’t point to any one point where I could say “Yep, it was all pretty much downhill from there. Let’s go back and play it again and this time, I will make better decisions.” For instance, I spent a bunch of my parents’ and my own money studying a subject (teaching English as a Second Language) that I put to good use for a whole six weeks. Should I go back and change my major? Change my school?  While my studies were only marginally important to my career, wouldn’t I be missing out on all the things I did outside of class, which ended up being much more central to the person I’ve become? How would I have met the man who became my husband?
And what about him? We dragged each other through hell for much of the sixteen years that we were together. Together, we were less than the sum of our parts. Except that we produced three incredible sons. If I did anything right in my life, it was having my boys. Some of those same struggles shaped me in important, life-enhancing ways, too.
Nope, if I’m going to press “reboot” anywhere, it is going to have to be right here, right now. I am the result of all my decisions, good and bad. To move backward and wipe some of the record clean would be to negate much of the person that ALL my experiences have turned me into.
On the other hand, the future stretches out before me with not much more than a suggested outline and a number of possible trajectories. This present moment might be the best place to say “OK, reboot”. And from here, given the resources I have on hand and the experience I’ve built up, I can make the decision to approach each fork in the road with as much of a fresh perspective as I can muster. If I can make good use of what the Buddhists call “beginner’s mind”, I stand more of a chance of creating a life that remains full of possibility, hope and change.
About Catherine Novak:
Catherine draws from over 25 years of communications and adult education experience. A graduate of University of Victoria, she’s lived and worked in locations as diverse as London UK and Lillooet BC, and returned to Victoria – her spiritual home – in 2004. Catherine is owner of WordSpring, specializing in working and social media consulting. As well, she teaches social media strategy and tactics in independent seminars and at Royal Roads University.
Visit Catherine Novak
Unlike Catherine, I can think of several times I would like to press the reset button. I can think of times I made terrible life decisions that I regretted later.
Let me know where I can pick up that machine and I’ll run right over and pick it up.
Hi Jan,
Thanks for your feedback! The thing is, unless we could go back in time with the knowledge we have gained, we would likely make the same choices. I too have made choices I would change, but I have learned from them as I know you have.
Having that knowledge ensures (hopefully!) that I wont make the same choices again.
As for the machine, I don’t have one, but, I know where there is a great coffee machine next time you are out this way 😉
Talk soon 🙂
Cheers,
Gil
Oh yeah. I’d go back to about age 12 or 13.
And work on my backhand more.
And my brush stroke.
And a certain wonderful, innocent relationship that happened when I was about 14 that I eventually didn’t nourish enough so it failed… although it meant so much to me, it slipped away. It was somewhat long-distance, so that contributed to the failure. I could have certainly written and called more often.
I guess you can hear major regret. It’s one of those things that I’m over, but probably has had aftereffects.
I’d be a better son and sibling and friend, although I don’t have any major regrets in those realms. But I could have shown more love and appreciation all around.
I’d tell my teachers how much I appreciate their working so hard to teach me ridiculously unfathomable stuff like algebra and pre-calculus.
BTW… based on Novak’s piece here, if you’re allowed to “go back and get some things right,” I think the implication is that you would be going back with the “knowledge we have gained.”
Yeah, I’d do that.
As long as it actually took me back to the mid-60’s. I wouldn’t want to do this in today’s world.
I’d catch a few concerts I missed, too. :^)
This has been fun. Thanks, Gilster. ;^)
Hey John,
Thank you for your comments. For what its worth my friend, I have always known you to be someone who has a big heart and shows his love in a genuine way.
You have made many people I know smile and laugh!
I do agree that there are some concerts that would be great to have seen .. or .. see again!
Have a great day John!
Cheers,
Gil